In "Christian Love"

The Following is a mail from Carson Pue - a well respected voice on Mentoring. You can subscribe to his emails here on his blog...

Dear Paul,

A short time ago, I sat beside a leader who serves in an executive position with a Christian charity. We chatted about her role and I asked her about her career background.

This opened up a very interesting conversation for, prior to working for a Christian ministry, she had been a high performing executive in the corporate world. Because, at Arrow, I have recently been researching how we might help develop more women in their leadership roles, I asked, “As a leader, what has surprised you most about the move from the corporate world to the ministry world?”

Two things came to her mind immediately and her facial expression showed me that she thinks about these things. In my mind, I was surmising I may hear about the lack of metrics used to judge progress, the pleasant working environment compared to the cut throat business she was in, or perhaps the great sense of fulfillment she was receiving personally through her new role.

Instead she shared, “I was unprepared for how being a woman in leadership still draws some reticence from people. In the corporate world the gender barrier has largely been dealt with. There are competency barriers both men and women have trouble overcoming, but I never felt treated differently because I was a woman.”

She went on to say that the senior leadership team treated her very well and she was really enjoying her new job however the awkwardness came more frequently from support staff.

“I can handle this; it just surprised me. What hurts more is how other Christians speak to me when they are upset,” she mentioned as her second surprise. “During my first month on the job, I had to deal with a very difficult situation and everyone had an opinion on how it should be handled. Those who were not happy with our decision would call me and say horrible things. During the call they would tell me that this was all being said, ‘In Christian Love.’"

How sad to hear. Come on people - "In Christian Love" - seriously? I suspect that every time you hear this phrase it is meant to buffer some attack from a Christian brother or sister. What kind of love is this?

Jesus was once asked what was most important in life (Matthew 22: 36-40). In His response to the question, Jesus summarized the message of God's law: be loving.

"Love the Lord your God…love your neighbor."

The primary demand of the law is an all-out love relationship with the Lord. The secondary is an unselfish love toward every other person - including other Christians. We are to love others "as ourselves" and to give others the consideration and care that we have given to ourselves throughout our lives. Jesus later intensified this second command by saying, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you…" (John 13:34).

My leadership colleague had been spoken to so crudely that my immediate response was to get names and addresses – we could fix this in an Irish way. But this definition of the law applies to me too.

To the Point,

Carson Pue