The Heart of the Mentor (excerpt from the book!)

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

Chapter 1 – Heart Check 

In our culture, the word, 'heart' has become a soft word. It refers to the sentimental life. Expressions such as 'heartbroken' and 'heartfelt' show that we often think of the heart as the warm place where the emotions are located, in contrast to the cool intellect where our thoughts are. The word 'heart', however, in the Jewish Christian tradition refers to the source of all physical, emotional, intellectual, volitional and moral energies! From the heart come impulses as well as conscious feelings, moods and wishes. The heart is also the centre of perception and understanding, and the seat of the will, thus the heart is the central and unifying organ of our personal life. Our heart determines our personality and is, therefore, not only the place where God lives, but also the place where Satan directs his fiercest attacks.

An awareness of the condition of the heart is of the utmost importance to the Mentor. It is from the heart that our motivation and inspiration flow. It is very difficult to get involved in situations and with people if our heart is not in the right place. It is exhausting. We can be prone to react in ways that are contrary to our own character, or out of a desire to aim for a 'quick fix' and make a hasty exit form the situation or people with which we are involved.

It is a very vulnerable place, however, to be aware of the condition of our hearts. As we dig and delve, there is much that we do not like, and that we certainly do not want anyone else to know about!

Mentoring is sometimes described as 'holding a mirror up to someone's life and helping them to take a good look at themselves. On one level, this can be a very helpful image, and I have seen the penny drop on many people's faces s they have thought, 'Oh…right…I get it now'. As with so many other simple illustrations like this that we might use, however, the reality is actually so much more challenging ie I am not sure I actually want someone to know what is going on in my life, take the mirror away…and bring back the mask! That's much safer!!

For the Mentor to be able to 'hold up the mirror' (and I do believe that is a great image to use!), he has to be willing to have it held up to his own life ie the Mentor needs to be mentored. This is ONE of the ways in which the Mentor sets about guarding his own heart. When I enter a mentorship, I am always keen that my mentee is aware that I am also being mentored. I also encourage them to proactively seek out people whom they will then go on to mentor themselves.