There is a conflict here that is worth exploring. On one hand we have the romantic vision of the mentor - eg Karate Kid and Mr Myagi - or Obi Wan and Luke Skywalker - where the older [man] teaches the younger apprentice
how to do and be the best version of themselves but in doing so transmits across to them all the best of their wisdom and skill and character for that younger version to grow into... After all didn't Jesus say to his disciples, "If you love me you will do what I command?" He directly taught them to copy him and learn to be as he is. Even Paul in the Epistles urges us to "be imitators of Christ therefore..." The word Christian means 'Little Christ' - we are all on a journey to become more and more in his image. OK so Jesus was perfect - but surely the principle is that what we learn about Jesus we pass on - what lessons have formed our character we can conduct downwards in the genealogy of the church; allowing younger members to see in us what Jesus put there and copy it and imbibe it to the point that they too, genuinely have those qualities they have observed directly in their own lives for themselves...
However... there is also the argument that we are not here to be producing 'Mini-Me's' but should be putting our Mentoree's character before our own agenda and travelling with them to a place we have no pre-conceived agenda in going... That we become less so that they can become more (to slightly mis-quote John the Baptist!) What about the argument that it is not our job to form character in others but to pray for them, to love them and walk with them - to see what God is doing in them and simply join in that happening...? To be a servant not a dictator...? To be a facilitator not an overlord...? God knows we already have too many power crazed leaders shutting down the movements of God's Spirit in the world and in the church... surely it is too big a risk to allow people to recreate themselves in their protegees for fear of them indoctrinating and mis-guiding them... perhaps reproducing our worst bits not our best bits?
What do you think? Is there a balance and what does it look like? Is it the same for everyone? What are the dangers? What are the benefits? Should a Mentor be more a Guru or more the selfless facilitator? Please place your comments in the box below!
1 comment:
It seems to me that the apprenticeship model is one of many valid forms of mentoring. Since this model is over-represented in the Biblical narrative, some have concluded that apprenticeship is part of the essence of mentoring rather than simply one of the forms in which it can be expressed. However, we should take into account the Bible's particular interest in leaders and the way their actions impact the unfolding story of the people of God. This gives rise to a skewed sample of mentoring relationships in the scripture.
The apprenticeship model aside, mentorees should imitate their mentors insofar as their mentors imitate Christ. This was what Paul alluded to in 1 Cor 11:1. And how do mentors imitate Christ? Not in every respect of their personality and calling, I would suggest. Rather, the imitation has to do with moral character and spiritual virtue. As a mentor, I do not lose my self or my uniqueness in imitating Christ. Actually, I am set free to discover who God has made me to be.
When relating to my mentorees, I should seek to be an example to them in terms of moral character and spiritual virtue (and pray like crazy that God will give me the grace to even get somewhere close to being the kind of person he wants me to be.) But I should leave my mentorees free to develop their uniqueness in terms of their personality and calling. If their calling happens to be similar to mine, we may end up with an apprenticeship form of mentoring. If not, we can still conduct a fruitful mentoring relationship in which I can help them find their way forward in God into a life which looks very different to mine.
So, in terms of moral character and spiritual virtue, yes we have a pre-determined agenda to pass on to mentorees whatever we have received from Christ. And in terms of personality and calling, we seek to identify and promote the unique work of the Holy Spirit in that individual's life so they are free to be themselves and not necessarily a carbon copy of their mentor.
Rick Lewis
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